* Our clothes are worn & tattered, so they rip

We haven't got a spindle, so they rip

Our clothes are worn & tattered & our wardrobe is so shattered

And we haven't got a spindle, so they rip

I spied a little hanky dropped by her ladyship

But when I paused to pick it up, it caused another rip!

(Hahahahahahaha!)

(It only caused another rip!)

I thought that I'd go dancing & wear a pretty slip

But every time I moved my foot, the hem would make me trip

* repeat

(Rip... Rip... Rip...)

(Rip... Rip... Rip...)

(Rip...)

I've worn these clothes for ages & now they've lost their grip

So when they start to fall apart, I'll use a wooden clip

(Hahahahahahaha!)

(She'll only use a wooden clip!)

When I go to the courtroom & bow to his kingship,

I must make sure my pants endure & so I dare not dip...

* repeat

Our clothes are worn & tattered

Yes, our clothes are worn & tattered, so they...

We haven't got a spindle, so they...

No, we haven't got a spindle, so they...

Our clothes are worn & tattered & our wardrobe is so shattered

And we have to think of something or we'll quit!

Performed by The Royal Court

Music & Lyrics by Michael Berz